Sharing.....

     Today I decided to begin my post earlier than usual due to planned activities this evening. Spending some time browsing the Internet, I found this particular blog post that struck me that I'd like to share: Enjoy :)

15:52 18.04.2014, Kathy, femdom101
The most current posting, Openness, was motivated both by an email and by a recent comment. For some reason the comment went directly to my spam box where it remained unnoticed for quite a while. Not everyone is in favor of femdom type relationships, they are not for everyone.
Yet, when people are anti femdom the comments tend to take on a distinctly mean and hateful type of quality. My first reaction was not to publish this comment because of its hateful tone, but then thought differently of it. In a way it can serve as useful example of prejudices in the main stream world. In reading through the comment I couldn’t help but wonder if the author fells the same about homosexual relationships or other nonconformist ways of living as he does about femdom.

A simple fact of life is that some men have been born with a need to serve the feminine. These men, like my baby, have a need for female authority in their everyday life. For these men everything feminine is wonderful and superior to everything masculine. These men can be wonderful and loving husbands as well as fathers. The problem is that they need to find the lady who is willing to put a collar on them. And yes, I will use the ‘S’ word. My husband lives as my slave doing as he is told. A challenge for many women is understanding how a man can be both a husband, a lover, and something of an obedient servant.

For most women the mixture of lover, husband, and slave comes to together like oil and water.
Yet we know that these men are there. We know that there are women who are happily married to these men, and feel perfectly fine about managing their behavior. The gentlemen who wrote the hateful comment thinks it is cruel of me to have John wait on his knees while I relax. Although he did not say so I am sure he also thinks it is also cruel or wrong to have a husband who has been trained to drop to the floor on command.

Femdom is not about breaking a man’s spirit. It is about infusing him with a new spirit. Some submissive men appreciate the idea of a strong woman who can break a man of his will. The truth is that if a man is really submissive at heart it doesn’t take very much energy to break him. (Except for Pockets of Resistance) An yes, there is a type of romance associated with femdom that simply doesn’t exist in vanilla relationships. There is something very special about having a man who willingly gives up his freedom for the privilege of belonging to you. I also suspect that this gentlemen doesn’t much care for women who keep their men in chastity devices, but that was not a topic of the post.

The comment indicated that it was wrong for me to keep my husband on his knees for twenty minutes or so while I relax. I often keep John on his knees, command position, for much longer than twenty minutes. Although Command Position is relatively comfortable, this practice is closer related to BDSM than pure femdom, but it serves a purpose. It give John a time to think, to meditate, and to better understand his place in our relationship. I don’t know, but suspect most of the readers of this blog would love to have wives who expect them to drop to the floor with a snap of their fingers.
It is a simple way for man to experience the pure joy of being under a woman’s control.

What I told the mother who emailed me is that some men want more than anything else to experience life as the property of a strong, confident women. These men absolutely crave female control. They want it physically as with such things as chastity devices and kennels. They want it mentally. They want to be trained by her to serve. They want to be trained to obey her verbal as well as non verbal commands. They want to know they are making her life better. Most of all these sweet men want to know that this is what SHE wants. And take note that for these men SHE is always in capitals. For these men the SHE is a personal goddess. For the submissive husband there is no greater person in the world than the woman who has put a collar around his neck or a locking device on his privates?

Sometimes we need a little bit of BDSM in a relationship. It can be in the form of a chastity device, corner time, or even a whip. Not only do men want to suffer for their mistress, women have a need to see their man suffer-suffer for them. Let me put it this way. We want to see our men earn their worth by showing us that they are indeed willing to suffer for the privilege of being close to us. Suffering can be something like giving up freedom, wearing a chastity device, or corner time until a man’s body hurts all over. In a strange way this type of suffering is romantic and can bring a couple closer together.

For me there are also those special moments when I whisper in John’s ear something sweet like ‘I love you, slave’ while he is positioned on the ground with his forehead, knees, and toes on the floor. When I know he has been doing corner time long enough for his knees and back to hurt I remind him that he is suffering for me-his mistress. ‘You want to be my slave boy’, I ask John, ‘then earn it’ I tell him.’ By his suffering a man earns redemption for the sins he has committed against his mistress. This is something that men who are not submissive will never understand. Yet, most of you who read this blog may understand exactly what it is I am talking about, or do you? You know I love my husband. Yet, for me it is important to know that John would follow me, hand and knees, to the end of the earth if commanded to do so. As a mistress wife I expect and demand absolute, unquestioned obedience from my husband. Anything less would be harmful to the relationship. Anything less would devalue the sense of commitment that John and I have to each other.

It took me a long time to understand why there is so much chatter on Internet about punishment and BDSM type rituals. I kept thinking this type of thing is not necessary for a pure femdom relationship which strictly speaking is simply about a woman taking charge of her man. What I failed to realize is that punishment is an important part of femdom. It is the key, along with practices such as chastity, for letting a man know you are truly in control of his being. This is, of course, is what many men need and want. It is this understanding that the wife really is in control that often infuses men with a sense of contentment about life. That special joy that comes with the exchange of freedom for the privilege of being owned. And yes, ask the men who write the blogs, I’m Hers and the others if it is indeed a privilege to be owned by a loving woman? In taking control of you did she crush your spirit? If given the choice would you ever want you freedom back?

Yes, of course, a good femdom marriage is based on love. Yet, I now understand that to be successful as a mistress wife there is a time for love and sweetness, and a time for strictness. A mistress wife needs to know when to say I love you, and when to use the whip. While I don’t physically use the whip, I understand the importance of punishment. Some women in these relationships have learned to love the whip too much. The first time, the only time, I whipped a man was in the studio. On that occasion I was one of those who enjoyed it too much. It is my opinion that serious pain can bring out evil-even if a man begs for it.

Because of societal pressure most submissive men have learned to subjugate their honest need for female control. As society slowly opens itself to the idea of female control of men, it is my belief that many of these men will find the courage to throw themselves at the feet of a woman. These men already understand that there natural place in life is to serve and obey, bow and vow. It is a matter of finding the courage to openly admit it. How many of you can say those words out loud, ‘I am a submissive man”. How many of you can find the courage to say those words to the lady whom you love. John had found the courage to say those words to me. He also says that other phrase that I never tire of hearing, ‘I love you, Mistress, you are the light of my life’.

And yes, the other part of punishment and such is that we often want our men to suffer for us. By his suffering a man shows that he is worthy of our attentions. It is a way for a man to show his commitment to the lady who loves him. His little thing may be screaming for freedom from its cage, yet he keeps it locked. By his suffering the male demonstrates that he is worthy. When a man’s knees and back hurt from being pressed against a wall, yet he strives with all of his power not to break position, he shows that he is worthy. Worthy for what? Worthy for his lady’s dominance! This is the power of femdom. This is the power of women. In a way perhaps it is the power of the sacred feminine that men will live and die for.

Bless you all for reading my blog.

Kathy

SOURCE femdom101.blogspot.com